Nothing Bad Ever Happens to Me

I had a Team SGT that would say “when you point a finger at someone you have three pointing back at you”. This saying has stayed with me and it is often very true. As I prepare to write this article those three fingers are poking me right in the eye. We all can use self-reflection. The goal of this article is for all of us to think about our lives and identify the areas that we are missing so we will not be blindsided.

At this time, I find myself in the land of my birth: Utah. This is one of the greatest places on earth. The land here is breathtaking, but the people suck. This is where I start pointing fingers. Utah is a place of peace, or at least the people who live here see it that way. Small history on Utah, it was settled in the mid 1800s by members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS or Mormons). Because of the Christ-like nature of the people who settled the area, those that live here feel this is a “safe place”. The idea of a “safe place” is a lie. This lie is one we tell to ourselves. Here come those three fingers pointing back at us. What safety lies are we telling ourselves?

For those of you that have never been to Utah, when you get here (you should come and visit Utah as it has some of the best terrain on earth) you will see some strange behavior from the people who live here. The people here are some of the most trusting people I have ever met in my life. My family moved back to the land of my birth (Utah) from California in the mid 1990s. We moved to a small town about two hours south of Salt Lake, named Nephi. I was shocked at how trusting the people acted. It was something out of the 1950s; no locks on the doors and they would go into the store with their cars still running and keys in. Now, 25 years later it is still the same way. This is not just in the small town where I went to high school but in the bigger population centers. My girls and I have started to call it Utah-opia.

Just like in fiction, when you have a utopia, it becomes a dystopia. When you have a group that has lived in safety for so long, they become trusting. It is very sad at how many con-artists thrive here in Utah-opia. What I find scary is not the people of the land of my birth being taken advantage of, but how they are so willing to give up freedom because of fear. The need for safety drives the flock to look for laws that will protect them. Evil people will, by their nature, break the laws. The laws only give a false feeling that safety has been restored. It is a fact that it is better to teach someone than to jail them. Educate not legislate.

Here is an example of the Utah-opia flock making laws to protect. When I lived here in the 1990s, there were a lot of laws to protect from vices like drugs, alcohol, and smoking. The beer you could buy in the store was a lower percent than the rest of the US. Those who drank store beer would just drink more of it. No one was any safer. To go to a bar in Salt Lake City, you had to be a member of that private club, so the bars all sold memberships at the door for one night. The laws did very little to protect the flock from the vices. Now, 25 years later, the laws are changing, like most states making drugs legal.

As fun as it is to mock the people of the land of my birth, those three fingers keep pointing back to me. My time here in Utah has just highlighted some things that have pushed me to think about the greater flock. Here in the US, we have gone so long living safe and rich lives that we do not want to give up. So, what are we willing to give up to think we are still safe? I know that we may not think we have it so good but we are far ahead of most of the world.

“Nothing bad ever happens to me”, but we should be prepared for something bad. At the beginning of this summer, I was working on being better prepared. My family was working on food storage and trying to build up our savings. I was blind to other areas. In July, I came down with Lyme disease and by the end of the summer I had lost my Wife, and my girls their mother. We had not prepared for illness and death. I did not think about it because “Nothing bad ever happens to me”. I do not know what we would have done if our “circle” was not there for us. This is the hardest thing I have ever done and I am truly grateful to all who have helped us during this extremely hard time.

We are not invincible and bad things happen. It is my wish that we all can learn from this experience. This may seem dumb to you, but my wife paid all the bills. I now have to go through her notes and learn all of this without her. If I had not been so blind to this we could have talked about it. She could have showed me all the things and tasks she does without telling me, and also taught me how to do them. We could have gone over all the accounts, bills, and usernames and passwords.

My goal is for all of us to take a better look at our lives and see what we are missing. It is easy to prepare for the things that we like, and it can be very hard to even think about the other things. I like food storage. I love camping and bushcraft, but that is not what my family needed this time. Take a hard look at your life and be prepared.

Bad days will come and I know we will help each other on that day and the days to come. When we are ready, it will let us help those that need it.

A Bad Thing Did Happen to Me, and thank you for helping my family.

—Chris