Four Thoughts on Defense -- for Self and for Others
1. Trust your gut!
If it feels wrong, it most likely is wrong. There’s a reason we don’t feel comfortable going to that shady gas station in that bad part of town late at night. Don’t minimize or discount your feelings. It’s our survival instinct that kept our ancestors alive through all these generations down to you. Our “caveman” ancestors didn’t feel guilty when they skirted the riverbank to avoid the crocodiles. Neither should you.
I will give you an example how our civilized society has interfered with our survival instincts: A good friend of mine’s wife shared a story that happened to her recently. She went to a gas station after dark. She is a small woman and was seven-ish months pregnant. Like a good citizen, she was carrying a firearm and knew how to use it for the protection of herself and their unborn child. While she was pumping her gas, she found herself in an awkward situation. A man of questionable character pulled up to the pump and asked her if she would please reach into his car and pull the hood release while he went and opened the hood. Alarm bells went off in her head. She saw the danger of how easy it could be for him to overpower her and push her into the car. She responded, “I’m sorry, sir, I can not do that.” Then finished pumping her gas and promptly left. She didn’t argue, she removed herself from the situation before it could escalate. She trusted her gut. She brought this up to me because she had misgivings and felt guilty for her actions and judging that person. I reassured her that she had nothing to feel guilty for. Trusting your gut and listening to those survival instincts are key to avoiding predators and harmful situations.
2. Always have a buddy.
There is no such person as Jason Brown or James Bond. They are works of fiction. As a Green Beret, going into harmful situations, I didn’t go by myself. I always took as many other barrel-chested Freedom Fighters as possible. If I find myself in a bad situation, I want as many good guys on my side as possible! That being said, you should never feel weak or scared wanting someone to walk with you across that dark parking lot, no matter what your physical capabilities are!
I know that this is not always possible, so the next best thing to having a buddy is having a communications plan. I have four daughters, and as they get older and more independent, they are starting to do things on their own. We utilize technology so they are not on their own. For example, when my daughters go to the store, they call me and tell me when they have arrived. This way I know, if I haven’t received that call, something has happened between point A and point B. When they leave the store, they call me. So again, I know that if something has happened to them, I would have an idea where to start looking. This is no different than in a combat situation, calling phase lines to the operation, letting the quick reaction force track you so they know where to come help. It’s like having a virtual buddy.
My daughter came up with this trick. When walking home from school, if she saw someone that made her uncomfortable, “trusting her gut,” she would call her Grandmother who talks a lot. She would put her on speaker phone, which leaves her situational awareness open, and now she has a live person right there with her who can also hear everything that is going on around her.
3. Always have a tool.
Remember, you are the weapon. Your willingness to defend yourself and others is what arms you. Everything else is a tool. Guns, Knives, and metal water bottles are just tools for us to use in a defensive situation. Now, just like I’m not going to dig in my garden with an industrial grade backhoe, I’m not going to drive down the street with a M2 .50 Cal strapped to my car. Yes, it would be fun to play with a backhoe in my garden, and yes, I would love an M2, but neither tool is practical for the job. When selecting our tools for everyday use, we must think about what an appropriate tool is. For the majority of us reading this article, we have the ability of using our God-given, Constitutionally-protected Right of carrying a firearm of “appropriate size,” but there are times or places we cannot carry such items. Also, there are those in our lives that do not have that ability, such as our children. We need to teach them about having tools. Getting something into our hands and using that against our attacker gives us an advantage. I’m a big fan of the steel 32 oz water bottles. It has a handle, you can fit it in your hand, it has weight and you can hit someone hard with it. It gives you an advantage no matter what your size is.
4. Violence of Action.
Our actions need to be aggressive. When a threat presents itself, it is best to respond in a highly aggressive, violent manner. This will throw our attackers off their game, taking them by surprise. They have targeted you and we want to change their mind about that. Screaming, kicking, biting, clawing, do not go quietly. The example I like to give is this. The first time the attacker knows I have a gun is not when I have politely asked him to step away or politely informed him, I have a gun. It is when he is staring down the barrel of a .45 and rethinking his life choices. I have met his violence with overwhelming violence. Now, he is removing himself from the situation. Do not be afraid to yell and scream. You can all laugh about it later.
This mindset takes some practice. My wife and I occasionally teach a self-defense class to young ladies. When we practice an aggressor coming up to them, more than half of them shrink away in fear. It’s their first reaction. We encourage them to be bold and practice with each other. It was difficult for many to even just yell stop.
I share these things with you and encourage you to share them with your loved ones. These thoughts are the beginning building blocks of a defensive mindset. I encourage you to have a conversation with those you care about even if they like to keep their head in the sand and think all is well around them. We live in a dangerous world; I challenge you to help someone survive it.
Chris