Family Commo Plan

The “Family Commo Plan” is not about the equipment, it’s about communication techniques within our families. As a Green Beret, I am very familiar with the concept of bona fides (challenge words or phrases) and passwords or codewords. However, the first time that I was exposed to the concept was not in the Q course but as a five-year-old going to kindergarten. My mother gave my brother and I a codeword that let us know it was safe to go with the person that used the codeword. My brother and I knew that no matter who came to get us, if they did not have the “code of the day” we would not go with them. Why my mother did this, was when my father left my mother, she was at a class, and he took their children. The codeword was a way to help us not be kidnapped again.

So, first lesson is to have a family codeword. You can have more than one. Think about a family distress word. A word or phrase that indicates to your family that you need help or are in trouble.  There are many ways family codewords can be used.  For example, my girls have a word that they can use to let my wife, or I know that we are to say “no” to whatever they ask. They often use this if their friends want to do something that they do not, but don’t want to hurt their friend’s feelings.  By using this codeword, it is their parents that are the bad guys, not them.

Lesson two, Commo does not have to be verbal.  Communication can be things we see.  I give the example of when I was a young man, we had the Northridge Earthquake in California where I was living at the time.  Our family had a two-sided flag, green on one side, red on the other.  Our church used these to communicate with one another.  In case of disaster, if we needed help, we would put the red side facing out in our window.  If we were fine, we put the green side facing out.  This allowed members of our church (our extended family) to quickly determine who needed help and how to direct their efforts.  In our visual communication with our families, we can have all sorts of things around our home.  Example being, if we want to let one of our children know that we aren’t home and they need to go to a neighbor’s house because of an emergency, etc., we can have a prearranged signal they can see from the bus stop.  This doesn’t just have to be for emergencies, this is a great way to teach the children to be observant to their surroundings which increases their situational awareness and therefore, their safety.  Example being, if they see a colored ribbon tied on a certain location, that they are to come in the back door, not the front door.  We will have a reward for them to encourage the behavior of observance. 

Lesson three, bona fides.  Very similar to the codeword.  One of the most dangerous things in an operation is linking up.  Bona fides is going to allow both parties to safely identify who they are and verify their credentials.  An example may be something like, going to another city and the person picking you up is someone you have never met before.  Say I am sending my daughter on a plane and the person picking her up is a friend of mine she has never met.  I give my daughter a codeword or phrase to say to my friend and he must respond with the correct word or phrase to verify who he is.  Both parties now know it’s safe. 

Let me conclude, it is important that we know how to communicate with one another.  If I am not able to speak openly with my family, we can still convey important messages to each other.  This requires us to have family planning meetings or family councils, where we discuss these things and customize it for our own households.  It’s not that we expect imminent danger, however, it never hurts to be prepared with a plan. 

And remember, John has a long mustache.

Chris