Embrace the Suck
“Embrace the Suck” is a philosophy that I have heard throughout my military career. It has benefited me and will continue to benefit me because life, sometimes, just sucks.
What do I mean by “the Suck?” This is the misery, difficulty, hard time, or pain you may find yourself in. To embrace it means to make it yours. You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to love it, but own it. If you are constantly trying to find ways of making things easy and painless, you’re missing out on a lot of life’s lessons. In my experience, pain is a phenomenal teacher. Since things hurt, I learned how to do them better and remember the lessons. If I had sought an easier way, I would’ve missed out.
When I was a young soldier in the 82nd Airborne, on long runs, we would joke about stealing souls. What this meant was that every time someone fell out of the run and we passed them, when they quit and we did not, you gained a piece of their soul. This gave us more motivation to endure the suck of the long run. This is a very basic way of coping with hard times. It’s the perspective model. “I’m in a bad situation right now but compared to that guy who’s on fire, my life is not that bad.” So, by gaining perspective it helps us deal with difficult circumstances. By comparing our situation to others, it doesn’t change our misery, but it helps us to recognize that there is a worse place we could be in. This is one method of owning the suck.
When I went to Selection and later in the Q-Course, I discovered my personal preferred method. There’s nothing you can do to change the situation and the misery, but you can help others. I would find myself, on a daily basis, looking for a brother who was in the suck with me who needed a little boost. Whether it was a kind word, taking something heavy out of his ruck and putting it in mine, or carrying his M240 for a mile. By doing these small acts and serving those that were in the suck with me, I felt better. I was able to focus not on myself but on others. I find now, as a leader, father, man, focusing on others’ needs is a salve that eases the agony of the suck.
We may feel that we are alone and singled out by the suck. That is the enemy trying to win. Understand that you are never alone. You may be the only one experiencing that particular suck at that moment, but there are people all around you who are willing to help. Me, personally, my belief in a higher power has been a huge win. Knowing that I am not alone. Ever. Key point is, when you feel alone and overwhelmed, sometimes the best thing is to find someone or some power to unburden yourself to. There have been like 12 billion people who have been on this planet, odds are, someone has experienced your suck and possibly even written a book about it.
One of the most common and relatable is the physical suck. The painful experience of doing something physically challenging. We’re all in different ranges of that spectrum. Some of us, the suck might be just getting out of bed in the morning. It’s physical agony just sitting up. On the other end, you may be doing an endurance race or some other long, grueling physical activity. What gets us through it is having that motivator of why we are doing it. I get out of bed in the morning no matter how painful it is because I must provide for my family. I’m motivated by my responsibilities. When I went to Selection, my wife told me, “Don’t quit. If you quit, don’t come home.” That’s some good motivation for you. We’ve been married twenty years and I will gladly embrace the physical suck to make her happy. Point is, find your motivation to get you through the physical suck.
Always remember, the clock cannot be stopped. Sometimes we just have to endure it and wait it out. Through the perspective of time, we can even look back fondly on some of the suckiest of sucks. Personally, I look back on my military career with great fondness. Even on a lot of those painful experiences. With the perspective of time, I can see how I have grown.
Remember our purpose here is always to become better. Just like that tool in the blacksmith’s forge, we are either being heated or pounded and shaped so that we can become something useful. We are living clay that is constantly being refined by our experiences both negative and positive. Embrace the pain, the failures, and the sorrows because they are all making you better. When we shun the suck, or run, or hide from it, we could be missing out. There’s always value to the things you work hard for. So, my brothers and sisters, OWN IT. It’s yours. Think of the glorious tales you’ll be able to tell around the fire one day.
Embrace the Suck,
Chris